Times Gone By...

     I hate to be the ungrateful one, but I will say that the 1 thing I remember the most about 2012 is heartbreak, pain, sadness, sickness, and brokenness. I'm not sure I've ever been more ready for a year to end a new one to begin.

     You see for all 24 years of my life, there has been this man that I considered a rock, as a constant in my world. He would shower me with kisses, hugs, and more love than anyone could ever image. He would kiss away my boo boos, share stories, laughter, strawberry candies, IBC cream soda, ice cream from the ice cream man, take me shopping, spoil me, let me shoot Mr. Clean bottles with a BB gun, and most of all never judged me as anything other than perfect. He would always think of the little things. He complimented new hair styles, new clothes, and he always noticed if you'd lost a little weight. Although some may have viewed him as stern or harsh ( with his former Marine background), he was nothing but gentle and sweet when it came to his grandbabies. This man always had a smile on his face, and even when he wasn't feeling well, he did all that he could to make everyone feel like it was all going to be okay...and then June happened. June 2012 was when my families worst fears came to life.. My sweet Granddaddy was diagnosed with blastic plasmacytoid dendritic cell neoplasm which is a horrible, aggressive cancer. In my eyes, he was handed his death sentence. This horrible disease is a mix between a lymphoma and leukemia with no cure and no answers. We watched him get weaker and sicker as the days went on. In and out of the hospital, but I swear whenever I saw him he always put a smile on. We spent as much time as we could with him, and let him see his great grandchildren as much as the doctors would allow (due to the severely weakened immune system)..needless to say..you all know my story here doesn't end well. On November 28th, around 10:30 in the morning, this man who has always been there for me, was called home. He put up the biggest fight, and he kept fighting until we told him it was okay to let go. I cannot describe to anyone the amount of pain that I felt at that moment and that I still feel today. Without Granddaddy, everything is just a little empty...just a little bit colder..He took a part of my heart with him that day, and I will not be whole until I can be with him again sometime. It hurts. It's hard. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, the tears still spill over the dam I've built throughout the years, but I have a wonderful support system, and though this has been painful for my entire family, we have been there for each other through every tear, every sob, every memory, and every fear. I appreciate them more than my words could ever explain...

2012 has taught me many things..
1. Life is so very short.
2. Do not take 1 thing for granted.
3. You can never say "I love you" too much when you mean it.
4. Make time for your family
5. You always have time for a goodbye kiss or hug
6. Staying angry doesn't solve anything
7. 3's are much worse than the 2's
8. my 3 year old will repeat things especially cuss words.
9. if Friends are real friends, they aren't friends at all, they're family
10. we don't decide our fate
11. You never know until you try.
12. CANCER SUCKS!


Pardon my language, but I would like to give 2012 a swift kick in the ass!

I'm eager to see what journey's 2013 has in store for me. If I made it through the storms of 2012, I know I can make it through any valley or shadow of 2013. Bring it on....just Bring it on.

Emotions

"Roller Coaster"

You control me.

You're a RULER, a DICTATOR,
an ASSHOLE, a RELATOR.

You're a SHOULDER, strong CHEST,
warm BREATH, wet KISS.

TIMID, I peek
you're NEVER there
My walls fall,  BREAKING down,
and you are EVERYWHERE.

YOU taunt me from every CORNER.
I feel TEARS then I LAUGH
I feel ANGRY then SAD
Before I know what's happening
again, I LAUGH.

YOU have this hold
a grip so TIGHT
It's PAINFUL
It HURTS
It ACHES
It BURNS

Just when I think I'm DEAD.

It's COOL
It's REFRESHING
CALMING
HEALING

I shake my HEAD
and once again EVERYTHING
is NORMAL.

You're a RULER, a DICTATOR,
an ASSHOLE, a RELATOR.
 You're a SHOULDER, strong CHEST,
warm BREATH, wet KISS.

I weaken for YOU.


-written by me. Ashley Lanford Berchekas 19 July 2012.

Me vs Me

Hello friends,
     Unfortunately, I'm sad to say that the reason it has been so long since my last blog post is because I fell off of my get healthy train, but as of today I've re-boarded with a new partner. Yep, that's right, my hubby has finally decided to get on the train with me. It means a lot that he's making a life style change with me because it's extremely difficult to keep it up when you're doing it by yourself. I've been searching pinterest high and low for low calorie, low glycemic recipes. I'm trying to bring a variety of foods into our new lifestyle because I know the hubs will get very tired of eating the same things.If any of you have delicious low-cal or low glycemic recipes, please send them our way. (I prefer fairly simple recipes that don't take too long to prep and cook considering the limited amount of time we have for dinner, baths, and bed after work each day)

     I've started taking a Zumba class 1 time a week at my dad's karate studio. It is so much fun!!! It's a really amazing workout without the feeling of it being a work out. I feel like I'm just dancing around having a great time with some amazing girls. My husband takes this opportunity on Wednesdays to do some weight training while watching his wife shake it and sweat to death (sexy huh). As of today, I've started Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, which I have been told has worked wonders for many people. I have high hopes, as I know my worst enemy through all of this is and always will be...ME.

     I've said it before, and I'll say it again..I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. I know I will reach my goal one day, as my assistant manager always says "little by little" we'll get there, and now I have my biggest supporter on my team!!!!! So excited for this journey to begin again...

The first step is always the hardest

Hello friends!
     It's been a short while since my last update, however LOTS has happened since then. My exercising has slowed unfortunately (my own fault) however, I've kicked it back in high gear!!! My eating healthy has continued, I feel I've done pretty well with it. My best friend is getting married next weekend and in 2 weeks time my dress is too big, so today I am taking it to get it altered, and imagine this, it's being taken IN not let OUT! What a sweet victory this is. My work pants are becoming dangerously close to falling off my rear-end through-out the day. Another sweet victory I might add! :)

     On March 10th Bethany and I made  a surprise trip to Auburn to visit Kelle for her birthday!! What a wonderful trip it was. Even though I worked all day and we didn't make it to Auburn until 9:00 that night, we had an amazing time, and the look on Kelle's face when we walked in was worth the entire craziness of the day! So, we had an awesome time with awesome friends, and a much needed mini-vacay away!!!

     Oh and the whole reason for my blog post today was to share my new adventure with you all. Yes, another adventure. I took my first step into my weight-loss journey and my journey to financial freedom and those were the two hardest things I've ever done. Now, to assist in my getting out of debt, I have become an Independent Thirty-One Consultant. I'm just getting started and some days I wonder if I know enough people or if I'll be able to have enough parties to reach my goals, but my faith tells me it will all work out in the end. So here I am, booking parties, saving money, and gettin' healthy. This beautiful life has taught me so much already...and to think...I'm only 23 and a half!!!! Oh what a life this will be to tell my grandkids about someday :)

Sincerely,
The most blessed girl on the planet!!
(well that's how it feels)

Ps.-if your interested in hosting a party, purchasing items, or becoming a consultant like me, you can email me at aberchekas1447@att.net or check out my website www.mythirtyone.com/berchekas

Lesson Learned

Hello Friends,
    I have exciting news! I bought my first weight set today! I went out in search of an economical way to purchase small weights (3lbs, 5lbs). In my most un-favorite store, coughwalmartcough, I discovered a $30 dollar weight set by none other than, Jillian Michaels, whom I love! It included 2-3lbs weights, 2-5lbs weights, and 2 8-lbs weights nestled on a plastic tray for easy storage and transportation. It also included a Jillian Michaels DVD for weight lifting. I have not viewed the DVD, but I have used the 3lb weights, and I must say they are awesome. They're easy to hold onto, and for a beginner like me 3 lbs is perfect.

      Now for the lesson learned...on Sunday I was a very bad girl! The hubby and  I had been working around the house for most of the day. He changed the oil in my car, and we cleaned and packed up old clothes in Nick's room. Lunch time rolls around and neither of us feel like cooking. So, (here's the bad girl part) we drove down to McDonalds (i know you just cringed in your seat). I had a double cheeseburger and some fries. Delicious while it lasted...however I was so sick to my stomach all day yesterday, and even the sight of food made me feel sick. I know that the food wasn't bad because Jon ate the same thing, but after much thought I realized it had been more than 2 weeks since I've eaten fast food. I must admit I used to eat it probably twice a week. (Horrible I know, but I feel better when I let out the truth) So, McDonalds is the devil. You absolutely won't see me in that drive-thru probably EVER again! Lesson Learned.

With Love,
Ash

My reasons to lose weight

These are in no particular order, just a few reasons why I want to lose weight...

1. So I can live a long life.
2. So I can see my son grow up.
3. So I can have another child without complications.
4. So I can look in the mirror and see a strong, beautiful woman.
5. So I can finally feel like my appearance matches my personality.
6. So I can finally stop being embarrassed when people look at me.
7. So I can walk into ANY clothing store and find something that fits.
8. So I can walk into a fast food restaurant and order a burger without getting laughed at.
9. So I can play with my child for more than 10 mins without losing my breath.
10. So I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for life insurance because my health is horrible.
11. So I will change the chain in the family and NOT get diabetes.
12. So I can have a strong heart.
13. So I can stop saying I know how it is when people point out their "kangaroo pouch"
14. So I can stop shopping at the fat girl stores.
15. So I can be another person's inspiration.
16. So I can save my own life and someone else's.
17. So I can say back when I used to be fat.
18. So I can finally be proud of myself.
19. So my husband can have an even more amazingly beautiful wife.
20. So I can prove to myself that I can do ANYTHING that I put my mind to.

This list will probably never be done...and I may continually add to it.
As always, thanks for the love and support.

Love,
Ash <3

1 week in

Dear friends,
     I have completed 1 full week of my new lifestyle, and I am in love with my results. I have lost a total of 3 lbs this week by eating better and exercising. I have a long way to go, but I must tell you I feel great. I've had more healthy meals then I've had non healthy meals. I've started Mad-Abs March, and I have successfully completed days 1, 2, and 3 with no problems. Today, I have on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in MONTHS. I feel I'm losing "inches" more than pounds, and that is totally okay with me. I look forward to my work outs...I never thought I would ever be able to say that honestly, but when I don't work out I feel like I let myself down. There have been many times during a workout where I felt so tired that I didn't think I was going to make it, or every muscle was burning, but I just keep telling myself quitters never win, and I want to WIN this battle with my old self. No pain, No gain. Just thought I would give you all a little update on my progress. After one month goes by..I'll post some before pictures and then at 1 month I'll post current pictures. As always, thank you for your continued support.

With Love,
Ash